I know I write a lot of “don’t compare yourself to others” but sometimes here and there it is still popping up.
I take now my situation I am “already” (How society says) 28 years don’t have a stable partner at the moment or a house what I need to pay off. In a few weeks hopefully I don’t have a car anymore. I literally only have my stuff in a room at my dad’s house and a horse at home, that’s what I have.
And man I am happy!
I am happy to travel the world.
I am happy to be surrounded with people who have the same love for travel.
I am happy to be all day outside.
I am happy to be in different country’s to see different cultures and meet every day different people.
I am happy to be free.
On some days when my friends are writing and telling me from their lives I get a punch in my face, feeling bad and stuck. I know that some of my friends are like: OMG you are traveling the world and have soo much cool experience… but they don’t realize that I am sometimes the same with their lives.
I see these couples running around laughing. I see how people are starting to build houses, a home together, I see people starting families.
Yes in that way I feel behind. I feel like I need to have a partner who wants to marry me straight away just to check off one box of the society bucket list how I call that. I sometimes think I need to buy a house just that I don’t need to say I have found another room for the next few months or years. Sometimes I think I need to get a family a child and a bigger carrier.
Then I look at my life where I am at the moment. I imagen me to sit at home with a child and know straight away I wouldn’t be happy with that. I would slowly die inside. I look also at my friends and imagen me in their situation and no I wouldn’t be happy in any of their lives. I don’t want to say that they have a bad life that’s defiantly not what I want to say. I just want to say I am not ready for such a life. I love to see them happy, I love to see them smile and from all my heart I really which everyone I know the best life they only can imagen!
But that’s not my life!
Yes sometimes I think I would love to have a partner to share all these trips with him. I know that all these trips I do are a growing process for myself. I have a way to go like everyone else.
One of my friends has asked me a few days ago how can you travel so much? How do you get so much free time off from work?
There I have realised that not only I feel behind in life, it’s everyone.
Why we are chasing other people lives? Why do we look after what they think we need to achieve?
Is it really not enough anymore to have your own extraordinary life and just be happy with it?